10 Years later - Where were you when the world stopped turning

I cannot claim to have survived the attack on the Twin Towers on 9/11, I was not there. Like many others that day I was at home watching the events unfold before me. I sat quietly on my couch sipping tea with honey in it. Watching, stunned, not trusting what I was seeing on TV as the second plane flew into the towers.  Shortly after 10 A.M. my home phone started ringing. The first call was my boss. He was calling in disbelief, as shocked as I, but happy I was safe. My parents called next, not sure where I was and trying to reach my wife to find me. When my wife got home from work with our kids we sat on the couch together not saying a word just holding each other.

I should have been there, I was scheduled to be there, but I wasn’t. I had some sort of bug that left me feverish, with a sore throat and pounding headache. I had called my boss on Monday morning to reschedule my trip. I rebooked my flights, changed my reservation at the Marriot World Trade Center and rebooked my rental car. I went back to bed and slept until Tuesday morning.

On Thursday the 13th I hit the road for work. Not able to fly to my client sites I had to drive. My route took me past "ground zero" as it was now being called. It was surreal to drive past and not see the towers on the skyline or contrails in the sky. My trip wound down the east coast eventually ending in Birmingham, AL. I was exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally. I was able to turn in my rental car and catch the first flight back to Boston. The first flight once flight operations had been restored at a reduced volume. There were perhaps only a dozen of us on the flight. The security screening process took almost 45 minutes. Every bit of my luggage was opened, every pocket turned inside out, my laptop opened, powered up and the battery removed. I was searched thoroughly enough that in some countries the security guard and I would now be considered married.

A lot has changed in our country and across the globe as a result of those events 10 years ago. So many people have had their lives changed forever. I'd like to think that somehow some good has come from all of this, that somewhere right now somebody is  doing something that changes the world. Something so earth shattering, something so good and pure that when he or she says "because of the events of 9/11 I was able to..." the world will burst out in tears of sorrow and joy.

To quote Alan Jackson - "Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day?"
Where were you when the world stopped turning on that September day?
Were you in the yard with your wife and children
Or working on some stage in L.A.?
Did you stand there in shock at the sight of that black smoke
Risin' against that blue sky?
Did you shout out in anger, in fear for your neighbor
Or did you just sit down and cry?
Did you weep for the children who lost their dear loved ones
And pray for the ones who don't know?
Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble
And sob for the ones left below?
Did you burst out in pride for the red, white and blue
And the heroes who died just doin' what they do?
Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer
And look at yourself and what really matters?
I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell
you the difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith, hope and love are some good things He gave us
And the greatest is love
Where were you when the world stopped turning on that September day?
Were you teaching a class full of innocent children
Or driving down some cold interstate?
Did you feel guilty 'cause you're a survivor
In a crowded room did you feel alone?
Did you call up your mother and tell her you loved her?
Did you dust off that Bible at home?
Did you open your eyes, hope it never happened
Close your eyes and not go to sleep?
Did you notice the sunset the first time in ages
Or speak to some stranger on the street?
Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow
Or go out and buy you a gun?
Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watchin'
And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns?
Did you go to a church and hold hands with some strangers
Did you stand in line and give your own blood?
Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family
Thank God you had somebody to love?
I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell
you the difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith, hope and love are some good things He gave us
And the greatest is love
And the greatest is love.
And the greatest is love.
Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day?

I got the call 3 years ago,
They told me you were gone.
The light went out of my world,
like a setting sun.
Time hasnt healed the hurt,
or fixed my broken heart.
But as long as I remember you,
your never very far.

The post I put up a year ago sums it up very well so I am reposting it to share with you all again.

Love and Music,
Mike

It was 2 years ago today that he called us all together into his hospital room. He looked at of us and after a moment he spoke. He told us how proud he was of each of us and of the people we had become. Then, with a strength I didn’t know he still possessed, he told us he was done fighting. He said his decision was to stop all treatments and go into hospice as soon as it could be arranged. It was almost like watching or listening to an over acted drama scene on daytime television, only it was very real. We were all stunned and shocked by the finality of his words. He faced what had to have been the hardest decision concerning his life with awe inspiring strength and courage.

I was supposed to be leaving the next morning for a week long camping trip with my wife and kids. Should I go should I stay? I pulled my mother aside and asked for her thoughts on the matter. We talked briefly about it and agreed that nothing would probably happen for a couple of weeks and that I should just go and relax, try and enjoy part of my summer.

We packed up the camper and headed for Race Point on Cape Cod, one of our favorite places to visit with the kids. Race Point is one of a few shore beaches that you can visit in the U.S and see seals and whales while relaxing in the sand. We quickly setup the camper and armed with a picnic lunch, sunscreen, and fishing equipment, headed for the beach. It was a picture perfect New England beach day. The weather was incredible but the fishing was slow. A very large old seal had setup just out of casting distance from me keeping all the fish away. He stayed and swam around for hours, mocking me from a distance. I observed him several times staring up into the sky watching a kite someone was flying near me. I’m sure that he thought it was some sort of strange bird circling overhead and was just curious about it.

Having had enough of being mocked by the old seal and the heat, we headed back to the campground. I called my mother’s cell phone to check in and see what progress had been made in getting my father moved to hospice. My aunt (his little sister) answered Mom’s phone and filled me in. They were already at the hospice as the hospital had transferred him over about an hour before. While she and I were speaking he passed away.

The next several hours were a blur. I remember throwing my cell phone and pulling over so my wife could drive. I think breaking down camp went quickly but I don’t recall much of it or the drive back to Worcester. They held his body at the hospice until I arrived to say good bye. I stood in shock unable to move or speak as I stared down at him. Nothing I had to say seemed adequate. So I did what I felt was right, I told him I loved him and confessed to breaking his tractor and promised to fix it. The funeral service was nice and I delivered the eulogy. To date that is probably the hardest thing I have ever done.

It’s been a tough two years and it was made easier with the loving support of my family and friends. The pain hasn’t faded, it certainly doesn’t hurt any less today, I just deal with it better. I keep expecting to hear him say “Hello hello hello” as he walks through my door for a visit or to hear him call me by my nickname as he says goodbye on the phone.

I’d give anything to hear him call me Mouse just one more time.

Long Weekend

Memorial Day weekend: the end of spring and the official beginning of summer. Time to fire up the grill and enjoy my meals outside. From Memorial Day weekend until well into the fall a majority of our family meals are cooked on the grill. Everything from apples to zucchini, breakfast meals, lunches and dinners all get prepared on the grill. Grilled bagels, pancakes done on the griddle, baked stuffed fish and of course the standards: burgers, dogs, brats, and steaks. But nothing is better than my corn on the cob. Soaked all day long in salted water then tossed on the grill, husk and all, to slow cook and self-steam. I love to entertain and hold outdoor parties where I get to fire up the grill and show off a little.

There are graduation parties being held all over the country this weekend. I don’t have to host one this year but do get to attend a few. These eager and excited young adults begin the next chapters of their lives. Some are heading onto higher education, some joining the work force, and others making the decision to serve their country. All of which are noble and exciting endeavors and I wish all of them well.

I have a niece and a nephew who are graduating this year and I am very proud of them both. Both are heading on to college and continuing their education and I know they will do very well. To all the young adults entering college I wish you luck. Be firm in your convictions, study hard, and don’t forget how and what it took to get you where you are. To those that are joining the work force, Welcome! Here are a few words of advice that will hopefully help you along your way. Be respectful, both of your co-workers and of yourself. Demonstrate that you are a reliable and trustworthy employee. Always be a few minutes early and offer to stay late if needed. Don't wait to be asked to do something, be proactive and helpful. Always dress appropriately, not for the position you hold, but for the one above yours.

For those that are joining one of the branches of the service:

THANK YOU

This 3 day weekend is a celebration weekend for many families. But let’s not forget why we have it. It's not to celebrate the beginning of summer but it is a reminder of the ultimate sacrifice. The sacrifice that so many of our fathers, sons, husbands, brothers and sisters have made willingly so that we can enjoy the freedoms we have today. While you are celebrating this weekend take a moment, in fact take "The National Moment of Remembrance" and honor our fallen heroes. This occurs every Memorial Day at 3 P.M. for more information visit http://www.usmemorialday.org

The weather is supposed to cooperate this weekend. The grill is calling and the first summer roses are making their blushing appearance while in Flanders Fields the poppies are in full bloom.

"We cherish too the Poppy red, That grows on fields where valor led,
It seems to signal to the skies, That blood of heroes never dies."
~Moina Michael

Resolutions

A new year, a new resolution, a new me, a new you… Let’s be honest about it. A resolution is nothing more than a promise that we don’t intend to keep. I hear my friends and family making these resolutions as if they were trying to claim a do over for part of last year.

Every year we fall into this trap. By December 1st I already had friends and family making various resolutions. Proudly posting up on various social networking sites what they resolve to do. So far I’ve heard resolutions of financial responsibility, weight loss, and even being more open minded. Really? You are going to make an effort to be more open minded?

Let’s all step back from the edge and take a deep breath. If you are to make a resolution about anything make it about something that you shouldn’t all ready be doing. You already know you need to be fiscally responsible, that you need to drop that extra 20 pounds. You also know that you should be kinder and think before you speak. Let’s start using some common sense.

Think about what you would like to accomplish this year. Write it down and come up with a list of how’s. If you want to lose that extra 20 pounds how are you going to do it? What steps are you going to take to get there? Don’t just make a resolution come up with a game plan. Keep it simple, make it achievable and hold yourself accountable. Execute your plan and stick to it.

Start this new year off right by kissing slowly and forgiving quickly.